News Flash: Anthony Weiner Doesn’t Run for Mayor of New York, Opens Hot Dog Stand Instead
By Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon
DonaldHendon.com
Disgraced congressman Anthony Weiner always wanted
to be famous, When he was a little boy in New York,
he had a dream that influenced him for the rest of
his life. He saw himself sitting in an office at the
Capitol in Washington. He thought that was an omen,
so he decided then and there to become a politician.
His dream came true. And like all politicians who
get elected to national office, Anthony Weiner
became a famous celebrity.
But he wanted more than fame. He wanted immortality.
And he got it, big-time! He showed a picture of his
wiener on Twitter to a 21-year old woman from
Seattle, and resigned. In 2011.
Right after his resignation, he started having more
and more dreams. One night, he woke up in a sweat.
He shook his wife and said, “Huma, wake up. I’ve
gotta tell you about my dream.”
Huma: Don’t bother me. I’m dreaming about that hot
Darrell Issa.
Weiner: That damn Republican Congressman again! Why
do you have the hots for him?
Huma: I don’t know. Probably because we’re both
Arabs. Now let me go back to sleep.
Weiner: No. Let me tell you about my dream. Obama
himself appeared in my dream and told me I should
run for mayor of New York. And I’m gonna do it!
Huma: Who’s gonna vote for you? Even I wouldn’t vote for you, and I’ve seen your wiener up close! Not a pretty sight! And not a pretty smell, either!
Weiner: Well, I’m gonna run anyway, no matter
what you
think. I’ll have to get some funds first.
Huma: Hmmmmmm. Zzzzzz.
Weiner couldn’t go back to sleep. He was too
excited. The next day, he started to call gullible
companies and other political groupies to raise some
funds. All of a sudden, he got a brainstorm! He had
to tell his wife!
Weiner: Huma, guess what companies I’m gonna call
first to get money, money, money?
Huma: Don’t know. Don’t care.
Weiner: You’re gonna be so proud of me when I tell
you! Here’s a list.
He gave her a sheet of paper with the names of four
companies:
Hebrew National Salami
Ball Park Franks
Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs
Oscar Meyer Wieners
Huma started laughing. She said, “They’d be out of
their minds to back you.”
Weiner: You’re
the one who’s out of your mind! I’ve got it all
planned. I’ll travel the streets of New York in the
Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. I’ll eat Hebrew National
Salami in all the Jewish neighborhoods. I’ll eat
Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs and Ball Park Franks at
baseball games. Think of all the publicity! I’ve got
a very famous wiener, and my last name is Weiner.
It’s a natural!
Huma: I suppose you’ll enter Nathan’s annual hot dog
eating contest at Coney Island on the Fourth of
July, too.
Weiner, not catching his wife’s sarcasm: Gee, I
didn’t think of that. I’m so glad I married you,
honey. You’re an inspiration to me!
Later that day, Weiner went to the office of
Nathan’s Famous on Long Island. Here’s what he told
his wife when he got home:
Weiner: Huma, you’re gonna be proud of me. Guess
what happened today at Nathan’s office!
Huma: Surprise me, baby.
Weiner: They want me! They
really
want me!
Huma: Well, that’s a big surprise. How much money
did you get?
Weiner: Well, they turned me down. But I talked to
the head of its Franchising Division, and guess
what!
Huma: What?
Weiner: I’m going into the hot dog business. I
bought a Nathan’s franchise. Think of all the
publicity! I’ll be behind the counter, selling
wieners. My name will become even more famous than
Nathan’s. And after I get experience in working
behind the counter, I’ll start my
own
franchise.
Huma, laughing uncontrollably: And what are you
gonna call it?
Weiner: The obvious. Weiner’s Famous Wiener. And it
will have this slogan—the more you eat, the more you
want!
Huma: Make sure you don’t put up the picture of your
wiener—the one you sent to that girl in Seattle.
Weiner: Hell, pictures of my wiener are famous all
over the world. People will come to Weiner’s Famous
Wiener from all over the world just to see my wiener
and taste my wieners.
Will Weiner run for mayor of
New York in 2013? Or will he start a franchise
called Weiner’s Famous Wiener? State tuned for
another fractured fairy tale, coming soon!
Endnote: Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon is a consultant, speaker, trainer, and author of 10 books, including Guerrilla Deal-Making (with Jay Conrad Levinson) and 365 Powerful Ways to Influence. Deal-Making contains the 100 most powerful tactics from 365 Powerful Ways—along with 400 countermeasures. There are 121 aggressive tactics, 92 defensive ones, 24 cooperative ones, and 16 submissive ones to get what you want from other people. Plus 81 dirty tricks to watch out for and 31 tactics to prepare you for your interaction with them. Download Chapter 1, free of charge, at DonaldHendon.com. Play his free online Negotiation Poker game by going to GuerrillaDon.com. Apps will soon be available.